turning point

this may be the greatest turning point in my life and probably one of the saddest things. firstly, i got kicked out from tp. i'm a o level student now. waiting to be enlisted to go for NS. will lead a ultra hard life in army cos of my qualification.

who actually fully understand the feeling when you get kick out of school just when you just started to work hard? who understand the feeling when you are lost and alone in a totally different world from all the others around you? who understand the feeling when you hear people talk about their anticipation about their exam results? who understand the feeling when you have to hear about what are they gonna do for the next semester? who can understand how much feelings are you trying to suppress? who can understand how difficult it is to continue laughing and joking as usual like nothing has happened? you might think you understand. you dun.

this might sound not bad enough. my body pains are all coming back. knees injuries, back fist, back etc. this adds on to all the frustrations.

furthermore, quarrelled. tried very hard to appease her like no one before. have never done all these. threw all my whatevery male egoism away, only cos i realised your importance. maybe i'm just not a good guy in the first place.

who'll want to live in despair? who dun wanna be someone great when they grow up? maybe i'm just destined to be a failure, or rather a very very ordinary person (it sounds nicer, doesn't it?).

have been living in illusion for lots of years. brothers may not be real brothers. luckily i still have wei jian, the real brother who knows me and is really to help me in every way. thanks.