found something i shouldn't have even tried to find. after trying for so many months, i found it. things changed after so many years. it will never be the same again.

one of my primary school ex-classmates kept asking me about her ex-relationship. she kept asking the questions that only that idiot guy will know. im not him, how'd i know what he is thinking right? not every guys thinks the same way, asshole. kept telling her that and she dun get it. i bet i have alot more problems than her. tons more. and i try my best not to complain. but she tells every tom, dick and harry her woes.

keep giving people advices. but people dunno im the living example of failure. this shows that actions speak louder than words.

judo

those who know me well enough will actually know i haven been talking to my brother for several years. quarrelled. well, i fiddled with my mum's phone recently and accidentally read some of my brother's sms.

he had a girlfriend named cheryl. a girl whom i think he must really love alot. then i saw their most recent message. the girl was initiating a break-up, saying that they have nothing much to talk about. then something about smoking and my brother not going school. if my brother learn all these cos of this bitch, i will look for her. ass. my brother seems really sad these few days. now i know why.

yesterday trained judo. had judo sparring. super duper fun. instructor said me and wei jian fought very fierce. haha. and the instructor thought i learnt judo before. cool. after that played with another aiki-jujitsu player and won that guy. he sucks. haha. actually judo quite fun. too bad its combat value not very high.

weekends passes super fast. hate it.

forgotten stuff

forgot to blog about some stuff that had happened recently. zhen yi gave me a new wallet for my belated birthday present! its quite a mature wallet, a bit too mature for me perhaps. haha.

and sifu told me i might become huationg's instructor! woo hoo.

my dfund teachers are all fuckers. lab and tutorial. late a bit then mark late. hope they die soon. real soon. make my attendance fail.

doctor revisited

damn ke lian nowadays. keep on asking people if they wanna lunch with me. i just can't stand eating myself. the feeling is so.... never mind.

anyway, managed to have lunch with junping. didn't know what we can have for lunch until junping suggested KFC outside our school. good idea. i like KFC. haha.

a while more after we've finished our lunch, wei jian joined us in the KFC and well, cock talking session again. haha. i went back for my lesson and after that went to see doctor with wei jian. she gave me those terribly awful medicine again and i short of $19 so i borrowed from wei jian.

after that went back tampines mall and had pizzas in pasta mania. he paid for them sia. so pai seh. and the pizzas were nice. :)

recently get hungry really easily. most probably cos my mum not at home, thus having no people to take care of me. at home dun even have simple maggie mee. had to eat milo powder as my supper. poor me. my house feels like mini africa. have to eat tree barks. haha. so worried i might lose weight soon la. at least in africa i can kill tigers and eat their meat yeah?

even as i'm blogging now, this pang of hunger just wouldn't stop. *stomach growling*

future career?

have been thinking what i can do when i grow up recently. studies not good, later can't get my diploma then cry le. then i thought of a interesting job. instructor of women's self defense! interesting right?? but of course, you must be good enough and can get enough students la. if not starve to death. haha.

better think of something more realistic. im a person without a ambition now. pathetic.

projects!

damn sian. got projects to do but dunno how to start them in the first place. and i think they are really difficult la. sob. anyone to help me? haha.

i'm super determined to improve my martial arts suddenly. and i'm going to be better by next year. people, start finding challengers for me! (this is a motivational sentence, do not take it too seriously =D )

nothingness

nothing much to blog recently. damn sian. anyway, updated my profile page. i've gained weight. haha. so happy. blog again when i have something to blog about ba. see you.

haunting memories

memories can be haunting sometimes. frequency of them changes as things change in your life. come and go like wind, effect being as monsterous as tornado. the more you try to avoid it, the stronger it evades you. soon, the whole life seems like its being eclipsed by the past.

going to dragg's house for his birthday bbq on this coming friday. wonder how will it be like. junping is going to show people his improved guitar skills. silly boy stress about not being able to perform his best to show others. haha. hope friday will be fun.

guilt

because of my knees injury, i can't kick as much anymore. thus, i didn't go for my northern shaolin training recently, concentrating just on the southern art. told my instructor about this and he was really very understanding, asking me to rest and not to waste the doctor's effort.

i really appreciate his concern. however, today when i read a email from him, he announced that thursday training is cancelled, leaving only tuesday for the trainees. i wondered if its because of me. hope its not. wish them improve and the school fluorish with many students.

passion burning

was rather down for the past few month cos of my stagnant level in martial arts. something seemed to stop me from advancing but i dunno what. this made my passion diminished. now, im back! great.

taught wei jian a set named feng zun quan recently. he's super enthusiatic about the set and i can see him try really hard to get it. know what? he told me his favourite is the 18 shaolin basics. i find that too boring and i didn't like that. he really has got the correct mentality and bright future. three cheers for him!

my mum has been staying in my aunt's place for quite some time. has been meeting many of my relatives nowadays and it seems like a pre-chinese new year gathering. they thought my studies is not bad. stress.

wish me all the best!

birthday

yesterday was my birthday and i received a box of my favourite food from wei jian, bird nest! haha. so special de gift la. i doubt any of my readers has received that as a birthday present before right? haha.

thanks alot to those who sent me sms wishing me happy birthday. they are (in order from earliest to latest): shi hui(wished me a week before -.-"), wei jian, peck, kejia, chen sheng, diana, sarah, min feng, ching shen, hui lin, zhen yi, yu ting, melissa wang, wei qiang, irene wang, jody, sui feng, richard wee, raj and xue min.

also thanks to those who wished me belated birthday (in order too): alvina and joelyn.

verbally: junping.

lastly, friendster by sending testi: jaime and elfie.

thanks!

intro of guys?

recently, a primary school classmate of mine wanted me to intro guys to her. and kept telling me about her ex and problems with her ex-relationship with him. im a patient boy. told her lots and lots of times that maybe he like this or maybe he like that. note the word "maybe". how can i possibly know the reason for something when i dun even really know her ex right? she keeps assuming all guys have the same thinking. bth.

so i was thinking of my guy friends who are single and available and not fussy. gosh. almost none. even if i thought of a few, either i lost their contacts or she choosy. i always like to "matchmake" ppl together. when they got together because of me, i get a sense of satisfaction.

but this time really troublesome. and i'm getting a bit irritated le. she asked her frens (whom i know too) to intro her guys also. then she said either they too despo or perverted. funny yeah?

anyway, i recently read zi juan's blog. she mentioned me as her good fren in her blog and i'm really touched. knew her when i was working in takashimaya as a promoter. she's a person with really good personality and im lucky to have a as a buddy. still remember last time when she helped me during work. haha.

my tarot card reading

saw shi hui's blog and took the test too as i really really like dragons.

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

(really difficult to decipher the meaning of the reading. but dun seem like something good.)

chinese doctor

master recommended me a chinese doctor to treat my knees problem. im quite surprised at how concerned he was regarding my injuries. he actually called my mum and my hp to ask about my injuries. well, he sort of scolded me for not seeing the doctor soon enough after he gave me the name card.

so, feeling the urgency finally, i asked wei jian to accompany me to the doctor cos the place is somewhere near geylang. you know, someone as decent as me shouldn't be there right? haha. anyway, the first time we went there, it was too late and we went back to visit my mum.

second time we went there together with junping. rarr! too late again. so we went geylang to eat frog leg porridge! wow wow wow. after that went to a place named "Mongkok dim sum". ate lots of dim sum. heex. eating is pleasure.

saturday, it was me and wei jian in training. cool. learnt some judo. throw here throw there feels really fun. (hey, not everybody can be thrown anyhow de k? do not try unless with parental guidance. hee.) then after that finally, the third time we go to the chinese doctor, its opened! haha. sound like those chinese story with a determined guy trying to find teacher eh? crap. kk. the doctor gave me two packets of medicine. damn expensive! $48!

after the visit to doctor, we went play pool at marine parade there. fun.

dunno why 2 days after visiting the doctor my knees are feeling worst. i couldn't even stand up properly. really worried for my legs. if anything happens to my legs, i dun think i will continue living in the face of earth le. sian.

my christmas presents

received my last christmas present from junping. ok. time to blog about what's my presents le. junping gave me a nike bag. basket. bought the smaller version instead of the bigger one, saying "i see you like no books like that". nonetheless, i like it. i got a new bag le! hee.

wei jian gave me a bottle of glucosamine from GNC. for those who dunno, glucosamine is something which is eaten to help the repairing of joints, like my injured knees.

master called few days ago. he scolded me for not quickly see the chinese dit da (acupuncture) he recommended me. he told me he seemed to care more about my injuries than me myself. sad. better faster go see dit da. if not i sure die. haha.

i love mama

lots of things happened these few days. my mum is hospitalised. she fell down straight on her right knee, which caused one of the bones to break. received the call when i was in school and rushed to the hospital. being her only family member there, i had to register everything for her and sign quite a number of forms. finally found my mum and she was crying to me about all her worries, like what if she can't walk anymore, what if she can't do the house chores for us anymore, what if we can't afford the medical fee, what if she can't work part time and solve the bills problems, practically all the what-ifs.

even when she was all the sick bed, she still thinks about how to celebrate my birthday in that condition. she also hopes to see me and my brother talking again, after not talking to each other for around 2 years.

after this accident, i can see how noble my mum is. she dedicates almost all her life taking care of this family, doing all the dirty work. special thanks to a female passer-by who brought my mum to the hospital named linda may. good people begets good fortune.

hope my mum will recover soon. i love you, mummy.