tired...

have been lacking of sleep recently. sleep around 3-5 hours everyday? gosh. dying la. spending most of my time in cs's father's funeral recently. time passed fast with jody, peck joo, raj that group. cs is a strong guy and the man of his family now. hope he'll stay strong and do me this brother proud yeah?

had been thinking:cs has frens when something happened to him. how will the situation be like when i am in his shoe instead? i dun have many frens. but i think its not really on the quantity but the quality. why find those frens when you know they aren't really true to you? i rather spend more time with my true frens.

dunno why think so much. but i'm also afraid of death. alot of my dreams not fulfiled yet. trying hard, but there'll always be obstacles along the way. haix. if one day whereby i really die (choy!), how'd my funeral be like? frankly speaking, i'm not those noble people who will say "oh, i wan people to put on a smile in my funeral". i actually wanna see who are the people who will actually cry for me. only then can i see who are the ones who really treasure me as a brother, fren etc.

think im getting a bit too lengthy le. really like blogging nowadays. im bo liao. haha. ciaoz

shocking news

today tuesday, my first day of sch since i skipped school on monday. really tired like hell la.some more the day before couldn't really get to sleep. omg~ after school went training. cannot make it sia. no energy to start with lor. then my master say i like punctured like that. ask me why. told him i not enough rest and he told me to have early night. woo~

reach home then received jody's call. he told me cs's father passed away. shocked. couldn't go hospital find cs straightaway felt very bad. tried to call him but his phone was turned off. then message him, checking my language to make sure its pretty stern and serious. he called me back, crying while talking to me. hope he will be alright and get over the matter soon. planning to go his father's funeral tomorrow night.

my condolences.

if i'm rich...

have been pondering over this recently. what will i do if i'm rich?? haha. kept thinking abt this for days then decide to put it here.

1. settle all my bills
2.give masters money for training fee and big big ang pow
3. move to bigger house and decorate my own room!
4. give family members money
5. give jody money to invest in his trading stuff
6.send wei jian a sum of money to buy presents for his stead
7.treat jody and cs go club, eat, watch movies etc
8.buy presents and go overseas with chia
9.ask my frens (maybe shi hui, kai, kelvin, yuting, diana, ching shen) out and treat them maybe movie or dinner.

That's all for now? haha.

25/6/06

me, jody, chen sheng, raj, daphne and irene was celebrating peck joo and peck yi's birthday in peck joo's house together with their parents. there were lots and lots of food there like 220 sticks of satay, spaghetti, bee hoon, chicken wings, hot dogs, sausages, etc. 20 people share of food supposed to finished up by us? indeed impossible. haha. then played games like murderer, tap tap game, indian poker. still remember peck joo was laughing at the "indian murderer" thingy. now think le still can laugh. haha. with them very fun. heex. hope peck joo and peck yi will like the presents we shared.

after that wei jian called me and said to meet me at kembangan mrt station. say got something happen. ran there and couldnt find him. phone off some more. waited until the station closed then he reach. anxious. finally he reach le then told me his stead broke up with him. gosh. they were like so loving la. shan say the details le. one of the most important things is that his stead dun really like him being with me cos she thinks im a flirt and im influencing him??? not really angry about that la. next step: not going to contact wei jian anymore or maybe find something to quarrel with him. hope they patch up and live happily ever after. i rather be a loner than a sinner. bye bro.

end of term test

woo. term test finally finished le sia. hope i can get a job for this 2 weeks. or else super poor. haha.
went training yesterday. talked to master about my injuries after our training. i got shoulder problem and he deduced that its because of my push-ups, thus telling me to stop doing my push-ups. quite sad cos i could have use this term break to improve. on seeing my disappointed expression, he told me he was like me when he was young. kept training despite of injuries. and he regretted. he also asked me regarding my knees injuries.
after that we were supposed to carry bags back to the storeroom. he carried for me cos he didn't want me to exert strength on my shoulders. super touched.

con'd

just saw bro's blog. sorry again.

im a bastard...

martial arts has been a very important part of my life and cos of that i became a different person. more humble? more disciplined? or even stronger. but i also became more afraid of losing, especially to the people around me.

my BROTHER, wei jian quitted his taekwondo trainings in pursuit of chinese martial arts. thought i was playing a good guy by introducing him the good martial arts schools. we went to visit quite a lot of different schools of different styles, one of which being very similar to my school, except its cheaper and nearer.

wei jian told me he wanted to learn under the same martial art as me, so i thought that would be a good choice? i was wrong. he wanted to be in the same school as me. fear overcame me. yes. i want him to be good. but im scared of him being better than me in my training place. i wanted to be the best, at least in my own school?

realised i was terribly wrong, sms-ed wei jian and asked him if he wanted to join my sch. he said no, and that going to the other sch will be happier for everyone. hope he'll join me, or else my conscience will prick me forever if he regret later.

if i cant even treat my bro the way i should, shouldn't i be doubting my own character?